Welcome to this year's reviewz. Enjoy the list and keep watching movies!
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GODZILLA MINUS ONE (2023) recommended!
Dir: Takashi Yamazaki
Not just a great monster movie, but a great piece of Cinema. Speaks for an entire generation of post-WW2 Japanese men. Hint: Godzilla isn't really the monster- the monster is us.
In the aftermath of WW2, Japan was a wasteland physically and emotionally. They had lost the great war after giving everything. Arriving at the desperate level of the Kamikaze ethos (suicide soldiers) wasn't even enough. These men had accepted the idea of dying rather than living with defeat. So what place in post-war society was there for the men who didn't die? This a particularly hard dynamic when the rest of society blames you and no longer finds you worthy as a citizen. There was something else that was lost with the war however, not just honor and country- something deeper. By accepting an ethos of "living for death," they had collectively abandoned life; and left the door open for deeper evil to arise. They had invited into their midst a great destructive force that had only just been born...
The monster had started as an infant creature on a remote island that a handful of Kamikaze pilots had witnessed. Had it even been real? It was relegated to myth and whisper until one day, seemingly out of nowhere, the fully grown thing emerged on the homeland. Godzilla was fully manifest- a creature bigger and more powerful than anything that could come from men- and it was undefeatable. For a society that had lost so much and was only beginning to crawl out from the wreckage and rebuild, now came an even more destructive nightmare- one they had conjured upon themselves.
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The men of Japan now had to make a decision, they could not let this stand. No one was coming to save them, no outside force could be relied upon. It's almost as if they intuitively knew this was a monster of their only making. From the desperation of war came a thing that could not be defeated and desired to destroy everything that was left, maybe forever. The men had to act, they had to have a resolve. So, gathering together once again, volunteers every one, they marched out to sea one last time to give it all and face the monster head on. This time, not to die for something, but to truly live for something.
GODZILLA: MINUS ONE is what a monster movie is supposed to be, and it is one for the ages. Unlike creatures from beyond who challenge us for dominion of the planet, or zombies that represent the death of humanity and unity, or super-natural forces that question faith- Godzilla is a manifestation of the darkest parts of men, let loose into the world. This movie is a story of redemption for a war generation raised on honor and duty, then left to wander an empty wilderness of their own loss of self, purpose and meaning. It is only those men who allowed it in, who can possible make it go away.
Writer, Director and Visual Effects Director Takashi Yamazaki, himself a childhood Godzilla fan, does a terrific job wearing so many hats. As his singular vision, Yamazaki's filmmaking points up the old concept of Auteur Cinema (film with a singular artist's vision), as contrasted with usual creativity-by-committee we expect from big-ticket productions. Far from a Hollywood blockbuster, Yamazaki's indy effort was made for a sparse $15M and went on to win the Oscar for Best Visual Effects. GODZILLA: MINUS ONE has heart for days. Every element serves the story premise and the characters are deeply developed. We are so intimately involved with each character that by the climax in the final act, we are on the edge of our seats. First rate filmmaking.
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OLD (2021) recommended!
Dir: M. Night Shyamalan (SIGNS, THE SIXTH SENSE, THE VILLAGE)
M. Night Shayamalan’s latest thriller is a surface level, but no less gripping ethical thriller. All plot and no subtext, it feels like a Twilight Zone episode directed by Alfred Hitchcock. In other words, it was pretty tight. I will credit the brains of it to the Swiss graphic novel the film is based on ("Sandcastle" by Pierre Oscar Levy and Frederik Peeters); and the filmmakers did a good job of delivering the goods without getting in their way. As per usual, there are twists and a Scooby-Doo ending that explains everything rationally.
A family arrives at a high-end, very discreet island resort spa for a week of vacation. They are also there to tell the kids that Mom has terminal Cancer. The resort/spa focuses on healthy living and after a night of specialty foods, everyone is off the next morning to visit the popular “hidden” beach. Winding their way through narrow channels of ancient rock cliffs, they arrive at the brilliant lagoon. A number of other visitors begin arriving until there is a group of 12 or 15. Then some strange things begin happening…
Several of the tourists spontaneously die! When they find one of the bodies at the end of the beach, it has already decomposed to a skeleton. Minutes later the bones completely decay into ash, until nothing remains. It is then that the visitors grasp the horrible truth- they are all rapidly aging. Trying to escape back through the tunnels, everyone experiences a disorienting and painful sensation as if they are being crushed alive. Barely surviving their injuries, the group realizes they have no way out.
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Obviously, they were lured here on purpose by the resort people, but why? Attempting to climb up the cliffs, one girl almost makes it, before falling to her death. They are truly trapped and with precious little time remaining. The rate of aging seems to be about three years per hour! By the end of night number two, Mom dies of her Cancer and of then Dad as well, both now in their late nineties. The boy and girl toddlers in the group are now nearly twenty something and not understanding the reality of sex, make a baby, which comes to term in a day, but dies shortly after birth. One by one the group ages out until only the young kids, now full adults, remain. In one of the most poignant moments of the film, the “kids” find a pile of items left from the many, many others who were lured to their doom here in the past. Necklaces, bracelets, rings, an artificial leg- and a diary that had been written in by successive groups over many years. Might the diary have some answers? or hold clues to possible escape?
*spoiler alert: Answering one of their suspicions about the lagoon, the diary clues them in on a channel through the coral reef that surrounds the hidden beach. If only they can hold their breath long enough, they might make it. The corridor is too long for one breath, but fortune prevails as breaks in the coral allow the two to grab enough surface air to complete the exit. Arriving back at the resort, they phone their story to the mainland and with help on the way, prepare to make a grand, surprise entrance.
It is at this point that the film reveals what is going on with the resort folks. In a spacious and high-tech control center, the supervisor of the resort, now in a lab coat, addresses the many scientists and engineers who man the work-stations. *spoiler alert: Turns out the whole place is a bio-medical research facility that lures tourists with terminal medical conditions to the island, promising rejuvenation and end-of-life sensitivity. “When we discovered the time anomaly in the magnetic rocks decades ago,” began the supervisor, “we knew this was our chance to make a difference.” Secretly dosing the sick tourists with experimental drugs, the sped-up timeline allows the scientists to observe on a much shorter time scale the efficacy of their treatments. Apparently this has resulted in the eradication of hundreds of known diseases. The supervisor then leads everyone in a moment of silence for the victims and then their names are read off one at a time, to thunderous applause from the team. “Their names one day will be remembered forever.” Clearly there are good humanist intentions mixed in to what is certain malevolent cruelty. Soon after, the facility is raided by the Army and everyone is taken away in cuffs. “We knew this day would come,” speaks the supervisor, “we hope we’ve done some good here.”
Ethical confusion to say the least. The idea of this magnetic rock formation that forms a temporal anomaly- a secret apparently handed down since antiquity- is both enthralling and terrifying. Foremost is the reality that many societies and cultures kept the place a secret over generations. What other malevolent uses might this place have provided for? How could such a situation exist in our modern medical times? Especially one so clearly international and conspiratorial? What other secrets might be out there, possibly controlled and kept from public knowledge? The humanist conundrum is the ethical center of the drama. I was immediately reminded of the Mengele Files from WW2, still argued over to this day. Horrific medical experiments done to concentration camp prisoners, by the infamous “Angel of Death” SS Doctor Joseph Mengele that resulted in data that might not otherwise be attainable. Should this existing data be used for the common good, especially given the inhuman suffering inflicted on the subjects involved? These victims died for this knowledge, surely using it would honor them, yes? Or the corollary- are the ethics too far gone to even think using such knowledge? Would it be morally incomprehensible to do so? Surely the files should be destroyed in the name of Humanity. Of course, both views are correct.
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MONOLITH (2022) recommended!Dir: Matt Vesely
Moody and creepy, sanity bender ("Is it the World- or is it me?") that questions the nature of reality and perception. All takes place in a rural house with one character basically. A disgraced journalist (Lily Sullivan) immerses herself in online conspiracy theories that seem to lead to a pattern. Alone in a modernist and vulnerable chrome-and-glass estate house, a feeling of being watched permeates the atmosphere. Then, one day, a strange black brick appears, thrown through a window. This brick of unknown origin seems related to the patterns found online. Communicating with people over her Internet pod cast, our heroine (known only as "The Interviewer"), hears tales of others receiving the same brick. It seems there is some immanent arrival of otherworldly forces that have been mounting- or is it all just in her troubled mind? The ending is a real brain-twister.
Terrific tension and ambience all from one location and a single actor. Actress Sullivan does a great job carrying the entire picture. Premise and brooding feel are somewhat reminiscent of two past top-picks: Richard Kelly's THE BOX(2009)(see review) as well as the more recent COHERENCE(2013)(see review).
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PREDESTINATION (2014) recommended!
Dir: Michael & Peter Spierig (DAYBREAKERS, UNDEAD)
Sci-Fi, not really horror, but suspenseful and great! Based on the Robert A. Heinlein short-story, "All You Zombies." Time-hacking, brain-bending romp that studies the nature of personal sacrifice and meaning. Ethan Hawk is terrific as usual.
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AN ANGEL FOR SATAN (1966)
Dir: Camillo Mastrocinque (CRYPT OF THE VAMPIRE)
Barbara Steele stars in this period drama about a tortured woman who is the reincarnation of a scorned ancestor. The curse lives on after a statue in the likeness of the ancestor is brought up from the bottom of a lake. Artfully done and Steele is solid as always.
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THE BLOOD ON SATAN'S CLAW (1971)
Dir: Piers Haggard
In an age of superstition and fears of witchcraft, an unearthed grave brings demonic forces to a rural English town. Praying on the young, the evil forces infect the youth, who organize into a Satanic sacrifice cult. Interesting take on superstition in that the fears of the town both inhibit and enable doing what is righteous. Patrick Wymark is great as the town's doctrinal and dogmatic judge who duels with the devil. Joe Dante's review on "Trailers From Hell" clued me into this gem of an oldie. A great remastered Blu-ray is available.
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FANGS OF THE LIVING DEAD (1969) (aka: MALENKA, THE VAMPIRE'S NIECE)
Dir: Amando de Ossorio (THE LORELEI'S GRASP/WHEN THE SCREAMING STOPS, TOMBS OF THE BLIND DEAD, RETURN OF THE EVIL DEAD, THE GHOST GALLEON, DEMON WITCH CHILD, THE SEA SERPENT)
Haunted vampire castle! Stars Anita Eckberg. Successful model (Eckberg) inherits an ancient castle that is home to a coven of vampires. The coven, led by her evil uncle, endeavor to seduce her into staying and becoming priestess of their dark conspiracy. Colorful, sensual, with terrific visuals and locations. Terrific score by Carlo Savina, featuring mesmerizing, 60's lounge-core main theme. Blu-ray remaster is available.
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BLOOD SABBATH (1972)
Dir: Brianne Murphy
Acid-trip, hippy black magic! Weird, experimental but charming, low-budget allegorical romp that I found myself oddly drawn into. Part musical, part play, part creation-myth fantasy; little to no dialogue but a lot of music. Score by Les Baxter.
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OTHERLIFE (2017)Dir: Ben C. Lucas
Tense thriller about a next-gen, time-compression technology that gets taken out of the inventors hands and used to imprison her in time. Corporate greed meets temporal madness in this well-made thriller. Similar in feel to PRIMER (2004)(see review).
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CARGO (2022)
Dir: Ivan Engler & Ralph Etter
Tense and creepy German Sci-Fi production, amazing production design. Earth has been ruined by technology and is unliveable. Colonies exist off-world for citizens, but turns out everyone is just in cold storage plugged in to a simulation! Hunted terrorist group known as the "Luddites" turn out to be the heroes.
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THE ARBORS (2018)
Dir: Clayton Witmer
Slow, but compelling. A point-of-view piece about a young man losing his mind. After seeing some men-in-black searching for something in the woods, he finds what he thinks is a small, spider-like alien creature and takes it home. Raising it in his garage, the creature gets bigger, escapes and starts killing things. People in the town are disappearing without a trace and our guy can't bring himself to tell anyone about the creature. Turns out (spoiler alert) there is no creature- it's him. What we see is his delusion that masks the fact that he's become a serial killer. Pacing could've been better (slow...) FX were great and appropriately sparse. Don't look for an explanation as to the title, there isn't one.
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MORTAL (2018)
Dir: André Øvredal (TROLL HUNTER, THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE, LAST VOYAGE OF THE DEMETER)
Was excited for this one because I was a big fan of Øvredal's TROLL HUNTER(2010)(see review). Compelling and very well made, but slow moving (too slow for me). A story about a tortured young man with supernatural powers, ends up being a big ending twist about the Norse God Thor returning to life(!) So it was sort of an "origin story" that ends where it probably should've begun, leaving us with a huge sense of anti-climax. (reminiscent of some of M. Night Shyamalan's outings).
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ARCTIC VOID (2022)Dir: Darren Mann
Slow moving and armosphereic horror mystery with a high-concept, Sci-Fi premise. Anti-climactic, but mostly about atmosphere. Shared a bit of the same morose meaninglessness felt in Alex Garland's ANNIHILATION(2018)(see review).
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AT FIRST LIGHT (2018)
Dir: Jason Stone
Near death experience leaves young girl with supernatural powers, somehow linked to the arrival of lights in the sky from outer space. Men-in-black are in hot pursuit because of course the government knows all about it. Tense chase narrative ending in big, transcendent climax.
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BUTCHER, BAKER, NIGHTMARE MAKER (1981) (aka: NIGHT WARNING)
Dir: William Asher
Old school charm from director Asher. A teenage couple get too close to a series of murders and become prey themselves. A disturbingly obsessive mom holds the key. Susan Tyrell is a tour-de-force as the crazy, homicidal mother; reminiscent of Piper Laurie's performance in Brian DePalma's CARRIE(1976). Remaster available on Blu-ray.
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THE BOOGEYMAN (1980)
Dir: Uli Lommel (BOOGEYMAN 2, RETURN OF THE BOOGEYMAN, BOOGEYMAN REINCARNATION, ZOMBIE NATION, BRAINWAVES, THE DEVONSVILLE TERROR)
Basically an AMITTYVILLE HORROR(1979) knock-off, meets HALLOWEEN(1978) zero-budget slasher, with obligatory analogue synth score and cheezy optical effects. A mirror in a house where childhood incidents occurred, seems to be a window into otherworldly dimensions where evil might reside.
Somehow, flicks like this are still more effective than the horror of today because they focus on ideas beyond our understanding, rather than dwelling on explainable specifics. Lommel's wife, actress Suzanna Love, adeptly holds down the lead role. John Carradine has a cameo as a creepy doctor.
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A.I. RISING (2018)
Dir: Lazar Bedroza
Pilot of a deep-space mission falls in love with his pleasure android, testing the limits of human nature and his sense of purpose/being. Slow and pondering, takes place in one room.
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DARK WATERS (1993)
Dir: Mariano Baino
Experimental horror/fantasy that plays like a theater installation piece meets dream-fable. A young woman goes to an island nunnery to piece together the riddle of an ancient amulet and the details of her family history. Terrific production design, the film is more about lucid imagery than story. Not for the average film goer, but perhaps interesting to aficionados.
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ALIEN HUNTER (2003)
Dir: Ron Krauss
Refreshingly not stupid cheapster that riffs on JOHN CARPENTER'S THE THING (that never happens.) James Spader stars.
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METAMORPHOSIS (1990)
Dir: George Eastman
Another cheezer that is actually well done for what it is. Good with pizza and beer.
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THE TERROR WITHIN (1989)
Dir: Thierry Notz
Actually well-made, cheezy fun from Roger Corman and company.
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THE TERROR WITHIN ll (1990)
Dir: Andrew Stevens
More pretty well-made, cheezy fun from Roger Corman and company.
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SCI-FIGHTERS (1996)
Dir: Peter Svatek (BREEDERS, WITCHBOARD 3: POSSESSION)
I'm gonna give in and add this one to the drive-in favs, cuz I just can't hate Roddy Piper. Straight to video charm.
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THE PYX (1973)
Dir: Harvey Hart (TV Movie: THE ALIENS ARE COMING)
Karen Black is of course amazing in this twisted tale of a call-girl who is set up on a date with an avatar of the devil! Christopher Plummer plays the detective. Based on the 1958 novel of the same name by John Buell.
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THE LORELEY'S GRASP (1973) (aka: WHEN THE SCREAMING STOPS)
Dir: Amando de Ossorio
Spanish-horror about a girls boarding school that is stalked by an evil predator in the night. An ancient curse of a creature known as the "Lorelei" has manifest and needs to kill in order to survive and fully develop. Cheesy gore effects belabor this B-lister that, in spite of its inanity, emphasizes thrills and chills. Silvia Tortosa is beautifully seductive as the priestess of evil who the Lorelei becomes.
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HALLOWEEN (2018)
Dir: David Gordon Green
Pointless but competently made. That is to say, it wasn't some phoned-in, low-budget slasher; they really made the effort. Unfortunately, other than pocketing a check for the execs, the effort was a big "so what?" Total missed opportunity. If they just simply had to make another HALLOWEEN, especially one that is a true sequel to the original (wiping away all the other sequels and versions), they might have tried to understand what made the original so special. I was yelling at the screen: "why are you switching point of view!?", "No, no- put the camera over there, not here..." and "if you wanna make this spooky, you shoulda done this..." Oh well. It's as if they had no idea what the magic was in Carpenter's original 1978 low-budget masterpiece. They tried to copy the elements- repeating specific tropes and actions, using some of the original locations, and even having John Carpenter himself do the music. Jamie Lee Curtis was terrific. Sadly, throwing elements in a blender does not capture an X-factor. There will only ever be one John Carpenter's HALLOWEEN.
Unfortunately, the same team has made two more of these: HALLOWEEN KILLS(2021) and HALLOWEEN ENDS(2022). Sigh... Well at least Carpenter, Debra Hill and Curtis are making bank I guess. Director Green is now doing a sequel to THE EXORCIST(1973) (just shoot me now...)
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THE HUNT (2020)
Dir: Craig Zobel (Z FOR ZACHARIAH)
Liberal wokesters kill conservatives for sport. Meh. Failed attempt at social allegory. Hillary swank was great.
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REVOLT (2017)
Dir: Joe Miale
Alien invaders, in the form of robot mech-bots, have taken over Earth. In the dystopic aftermath, humans struggle to keep their resolve to fight on. With seemingly no defense against the mechanical monsters, two soldiers persevere to find a flaw in their enemies armor. Terrific CGI effects and lots of gun blazing action. Lee Pace and Bérénice Marlohe star.
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INFINI (2015)
Dir: Shane Abbess (GABRIEL, OSIRIS)
Luke Hemsworth stars in this solid Sci-Fi/Horror actioner. Space marines vs alien bio hazard on a remote outpost! Terrific production design and effects. Characters trapped in a confined space angle, reminiscent of ALIENS(1986) or THE THING(1982).
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2:22 (2017)Dir: Paul Currie
Intense, brain-twisting causality romp about a man who sees patterns that allow him to see future possibilities and perhaps change them. Patterns close in until he finds himself part of a destined narrative where, as much as he changes things it only seems to support the same path. Feels like a Nolan brothers film (MEMENTO(2000), INCEPTION(2010) or TENANT(2020)) meets THE NUMBER 23(2007)(see review), meets PRIMER (2004)(see review).
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MAGELLAN (2017)
Dir: Rob York (CURSE OF CROM: THE LEGEND OF HALLOWEEN)
Deep space signals reveal the presence of non-Earth intelligences. One astronaut must travel around the solar system to find the origin of the signals, sacrificing his marriage and perhaps his life in the process. Low-budget, but smart enough.
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HEAD COUNT (2018)
Dir: Ellie Callahan (WITCH HUNT)
One of these ensemble cast millennial yawners that has compelling ideas about how, at any point, a person is missing from the group even though they are still there. Some inter-dimensional hijinx is at play and the ending explanation (a demon that manifests around groupings of five) sort of disappoints. Rare to say it, but the narrative actually got too caught up in the characters and their relationships, which were sort of besides the point. Could've been leaner and meaner.
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THE REEDS (2010)
Dir: Nick Cohen
Straight-to-streaming thriller about a group of friends on a boat vacation who get lost in confusing waterways of the Norfolk Broads (rural wetlands in the UK). Meanwhile, there is someone or something in the reeds that is stalking them. Ensemble cast trapped-in-small-space fight to survive. Many tough decision will be made. A bit draggy but the character interactions are solid.
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INTO THE ABYSS (2022)
Dir: Matías Xavier Rispau
Simple and sparse indy about trust and survival. Only a couple of characters and locations. Felt like it should've been an anthology short basically. There's a line between the skill of making a film with next to nothing; and not having enough to bother. This outing did very well with what it had, but comes off more like a student film or experiment than a robust feature. All in all, the examination of "trust" as subject material did come across strong.
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THE SPORE (2021)Dir: Matt Cunningham (3 DEMONS)
Fungal spores begin infecting people in the woods and the spread may lead to potential worldwide apocalypse. Could it be Nature evolving a way to fight off mankind? A small host of characters in a rural area fight to stay alive as long as they can, as the outlook is almost certainly fatal for all. Some scenes reminiscent of ANNIHILATION(2018)(see review).
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LOVELY, DARK AND DEEP (2023)
Dir: Teresa Sutherland
Well-made-but-so-what? indy effort about a woman researcher who goes into the outback and is chased by some primordial beast. Supposed to be some metaphor about modern views of the environment and evolutionary ethics or some such. Spare me.
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SHADOWZONE (1990)
Dir: J.S. Cardone (WICKED LITTLE THINGS, THE SCARE HOLE, THE SLAYER)
James Hong and Louise Fletcher star in this bio hazard at a secret military compound romp. Cheezy mutated monsters and lots of "SCIENCE" adorn this "who-will-die-next?" thriller, trapped in an underground complex with creatures out of time!
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DEMONIA (1990)
Dir: Lucio Fulci
Disappointing outing from maestro Fulci. Skip this one.
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ANTISOCIAL (2013)
Dir: Cody Calahan (ANTISOCIAL 2, LET HER OUT, THE OAK ROOM, VICIOUS FUN)
Winking at metaphors of social-media, this thriller follows a group of students trapped in a house as the world goes bonkers from a deadly virus. Those infected go on a homicidal rampage so the students must arm themselves for battle against the forces outside- and against each other. Acting was marginal and the whole thing suffers from low-budget-itis. Pretty bloody.
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THE HOLLOW (2015)
Dir: Sheldon Wilson (BELIEVER, DEAD IN THE WATER, NEVER KNOCK, THE UNSPOKEN, SCARECROW)
An island community is locked down during a Halloween storm. People become infected and die from some malevolent, supernatural force. Two sisters visiting an aunt on the island must fight to survive and solve the mystery. Turns out, the storm has brought some evil presence- a fire monster seemingly made of strands of pure darkness. Can they find a way to defeat the evil?
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BREACH (2020)
Dir: John Suits (THE PANDEMIC, 3022, BREATHING ROOM)
Would've been an ok drive-in actioner if the visual effects hadn't been so sub-par. Bruce Willis stars. On a cross galaxy flight to "New Earth", alien biology escapes containment and begins attacking the passengers and crew. The flight team must do battle to survive. Production design is ok, but the muzzle-flashes from the weapons look like they were done on an iPhone app. Bewildering flaw for an otherwise solid B-flick. Veteran Willis is great of course.
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MOONBASE (1997)
Dir: Paolo Mazzucato
Inmates revolt on a lunar prison colony and threaten to bring a live nuke to Earth. The clock is ticking as under-equipped moon base crew must strategize a way to hold the prisoners from escaping. Low-budget, straight-to-video action.
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DEAD SPACE (1991)
Dir: Fred Gallo (STARQUEST 2, LADY IN WAITING, DRACULA RISING)
Roger Corman alum Gallo directs this zero budget exercise in cheap sets and bad effects starring Marc Singer. Bryan Cranston co-stars. Alien lifeform invades distant science outpost and morphs into revenous monsters. The crew along with Singer must fight to survive.
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DARK BREED (1996)
Dir: Richard Pepin (MINDSTORM)
Straight-to-video Sci-Fi maestro Pepin takes his turn at Horror with this tepid entry starring mainstay Jack Scalia. Returning space shuttle crew have been infected as hosts to some extraterrestrial monsters. One soldier (Scalia) must hunt down the astronauts before an alien take-over of Earth begins! Car chases, shoot-outs, rubber suit monsters and plenty of explosions crown this straight-to-video cheezer.
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LETHAL TARGET (1999)
Dir: Lloyd A. Simandl (BLOOD COUNTESS, DEMON'S CLAW)
Ex-soldier (C.C. Costigan) imprisoned on a female prison colony, is drafted for a mission to investigate a science spaceship infested with an evil alien. There's a weird lesbian commander (Kim Dawson), cheezy alien effects, bad sets, a non-story and an abundance of sexual content for no reason. Complete zero. Oddly, the first few minutes of topless women slaving in a prison mine, was also used in two other films: FATAL CONFLICT(2000) and CHAINED HEAT 3: HELL MOUNTAIN.
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THE DARK LURKING (2009)
Dir: Gregory Conners
Space marines answer a distress call to an abandoned outpost, only to find evil alien monsters have taken over and they battle to survive. NEVER HEARD THIS PLOT BEFORE. Silly (obviously hand-held!) practical effects of space ships and rubber suit monsters and gore effects render this species lifeless.
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DEEP EVIL (2004)
Dir: Pat Williams (DEAD RISING: ENDGAME)
Straight-to-video Sci-Fi/Horror from TV director Williams. Soldiers investigate an underground bio-lab where some evil life form has run amok. (NEVER HEARD THIS PLOT BEFORE) Turns out some evil goo is infecting everyone. Can they escape without bringing the creature with them and infecting the World? That bastion of high-art Cinema Lorenzo Lamas stars.
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HOUSE OF FEARS (2007)
Dir: Ryan Little
Caught-on-video yawner about a video crew documenting a Halloween haunted-house extravaganza that takes place in an actual haunted house. Sure enough, ghostly horrors start to occur. Ya don't say. TIRED!
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TARDY TERROR (2020) (aka: HORROR HIGH)
Dir: Tyler J. Case
This straight-to-streaming Horror/Comedy, actually titled "TARDY TERROR" is a thing. Feeling a tad bit like a community-chorus production, a high-school is possessed by some evil presence that kills you if you are late to class. Having long since adapted to this reality, the school locks-down, sealing all doors and exits inbetween classes. If you don't make it to class- you are hunted by some troll creature that rips you to pieces. In true "Stranger Things" style, a group of friends on their bikes persist in finding an answer to the mess. Unreal premise to be sure, but it emphasizes the powerless feelings of teen isolation and going up against "a game that is rigged." Rebranded for streaming as "HORROR HIGH" (not to be confused with the Larry Stoufer 1973 film of the same name.)
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DEEP RISING (1998)
Dir: Stephen Sommers (G.I. JOE: RISE OF COBRA, THE MUMMY, VAN HELSING, ODD THOMAS)
Hollywood formula actioner with big-budget nonsense and phoned-in ideas. I typically enjoy Sommers blend of light-hearted Action/Thriller/Horror, but this one is just too "creativity by commitee" to enjoy. Treat WIlliams is amazing as always (R.I.P.)
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PULSE (2006)
Dir: Jim Sonzero
The W.B. meets horror. Dead souls trapped in cyberspace start emailing people. An otherwordly, evil presence exists within electronic signals and craves the living. Kristen Bell stars. Meh.
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CRYPT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1973) (aka: HANNAH QUEEN OF THE VAMPIRES)
Dir: Juilo Salvador & Ray Denton
On an isolated Spanish isle, a young researcher aids in un-earthing an ancient tomb that sets free a demonic priestess "Hannah." Soon, the superstitious islanders are infected as vampires, just as legends predicted. Turns out, the local leader of the dig had planned this all along and is worshipping the ancient evil. Can our hero stop him in time? Cheezer that feels like a Spanish Hammer-Horror flick.
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HORROR RISES FROM THE TOMB (1973)
Dir: Carlos Aured (CURSE OF THE DEVIL, BLUE EYES OF THE BROKEN DOLL, THE MUMMY'S REVENGE, ATRAPADOS EN EL MIEDO)
A medieval husband and wife cursed for witchcraft and executed, rise from the dead at a remote inn, to begin a campaign of vengeance and blood. Visitors to the inn become blood sacrifices and possesed as undead zombies to serve the witches. Super-cheesy Spanish production with lame pacing and silly blood effects.
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THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON (1990)
Dir: D.J. Webster
When a splashed Space Shuttle from earlier decades shows up drifting in space, a research vessel must investigate the anomaly. Turns out, Satanic forces are at play as the efforts of the researchers help complete a portal for the Devil to manifest in our World. One of a plethora of ALIEN(1979)/ALIENS(1986) rip-offs. The Satanic angle is down right silly. Everyone possessed has the deep "EXORCIST" voice and there is a computer-woman-AI who becomes avatar for the evil presence. Meh.
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WISHMASTER (1997)
Dir: Robert Kurtzman (BURIED ALIVE, THE RAGE)
Standard Nineties horror- which means it felt like a movie of the week shot on video. Why did that decade suck so bad for American Horror? Not quite as bad as I expected, but pointless. The main actor bugs me for some reason. Not his fault, just kills my suspension of disbelief.
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ROBERT (2015) (aka: ROBERT THE DOLL)
Dir: Andrew Jones
Cheap thrills if you're drunk. Not really that scary for a "haunted doll" flick.
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THE CURSE OF ROBERT (2016)
Dir: Andrew Jones
Rinse/Repeat...
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BURIAL GROUND (1981)
Dir: Andrea Bianchi (MASSACRE, MANIAC KILLER, WHAT THE PEEPER SAW)
Sex obsessed Bianchi directs another Spaghetti-Horror low-baller, complete with zombies, tons of bloody gore, creepy incest, bad overdubbing, and cheap sets.
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INSECTICIDAL (2005)
Dir: Jeffery Scott Lando (THIRST, ALIEN INCURSION, THE GOBLIN, GHOSTQUAKE, BOOGEYMAN, ROBOSHARK, SUSPENSION)
Borderline soft-core porn with beyond-cheezy horror ideas that are played for laughs. Naked sorority chicks showering together, bad practical effects- you get the drill. Doesn't make it as a B-flick.
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PEELERS (2017)
Dir: Sevé Schelenz (SKEW)
Strippers and guns. Utterly pointless genre attempt. Insulting and actually made me angry.
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DAWN OF THE BEAST (2021)
Dir: Bruce Wemple (THE TOMORROW JOB, THE RETREAT, FIRST CONTACT, ALTERED HOURS, LAKE ARTIFACT)
Bigfoot chasers get more than they bargained for when they encounter a far more menacing force- a Wendigo. Survival-in-the-woods action ensues. Lost in the woods, holed up in a farmhouse, kidnapped by redneck locals- who will survive? Could the Bigfoot(s) actually be protectors warning us against the other presence? Most of the film is too dark to see much of what is going on. Ridiculous soundtrack and pop-music over the end credits underscores the lack of seriousness in this project.
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THE RIG (2010)
Dir: Peter Atencio
Small crew trapped on an oil rig during a storm, with some deep sea creature that has been awakened from primordial times. With help days away, how can they survive?
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THUNDERBIRD (2021)
Dir: Nicholas Treeshin
Some crap about indigenous peoples in the guise of a horror yarn. The spirits send an ancient beast to reconcile modern injustice, blah, blah, etc... They should've just made a documentary about the tribe and skipped the narrative angle.
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GODS OF THE DEEP (2023)
Dir: Charlie Steeds
God of the AWFUL.
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